Enter KENT, disguisedKENT
If but as well I other accents borrow,KING LEAR
That can my speech defuse, my good intent
May carry through itself to that full issue
For which I razed my likeness. Now, banish'd Kent,
If thou canst serve where thou dost stand condemn'd,
So may it come, thy master, whom thou lovest,
Shall find thee full of labours.
Horns within. Enter KING LEAR, Knights, and Attendants
Let me not stay a jot for dinner; go get it ready.KENT
Exit an Attendant
How now! what art thou?
A man, sir.KING LEAR
What dost thou profess? what wouldst thou with us?KENT
I do profess to be no less than I seem; to serveKING LEAR
him truly that will put me in trust: to love him
that is honest; to converse with him that is wise,
and says little; to fear judgment; to fight when I
cannot choose; and to eat no fish.
What art thou?KENT
A very honest-hearted fellow, and as poor as the king.KING LEAR
If thou be as poor for a subject as he is for aKENT
king, thou art poor enough. What wouldst thou?
Service.KING LEAR
Who wouldst thou serve?KENT
You.KING LEAR
Dost thou know me, fellow?KENT
No, sir; but you have that in your countenanceKING LEAR
which I would fain call master.
What's that?KENT
Authority.KING LEAR
What services canst thou do?KENT
I can keep honest counsel, ride, run, mar a curiousKING LEAR
tale in telling it, and deliver a plain message
bluntly: that which ordinary men are fit for, I am
qualified in; and the best of me is diligence.
How old art thou?KENT
Not so young, sir, to love a woman for singing, norKING LEAR
so old to dote on her for any thing: I have years
on my back forty eight.
Follow me; thou shalt serve me: if I like thee noOSWALD
worse after dinner, I will not part from thee yet.
Dinner, ho, dinner! Where's my knave? my fool?
Go you, and call my fool hither.
Exit an Attendant
Enter OSWALD
You, you, sirrah, where's my daughter?
So please you,—KING LEAR
Exit
What says the fellow there? Call the clotpoll back.Knight
Exit a Knight
Where's my fool, ho? I think the world's asleep.
Re-enter Knight
How now! where's that mongrel?
He says, my lord, your daughter is not well.KING LEAR
Why came not the slave back to me when I called him?Knight
Sir, he answered me in the roundest manner, he wouldKING LEAR
not.
He would not!Knight
My lord, I know not what the matter is; but, to myKING LEAR
judgment, your highness is not entertained with that
ceremonious affection as you were wont; there's a
great abatement of kindness appears as well in the
general dependants as in the duke himself also and
your daughter.
Ha! sayest thou so?Knight
I beseech you, pardon me, my lord, if I be mistaken;KING LEAR
for my duty cannot be silent when I think your
highness wronged.
Thou but rememberest me of mine own conception: IKnight
have perceived a most faint neglect of late; which I
have rather blamed as mine own jealous curiosity
than as a very pretence and purpose of unkindness:
I will look further into't. But where's my fool? I
have not seen him this two days.
Since my young lady's going into France, sir, theKING LEAR
fool hath much pined away.
No more of that; I have noted it well. Go you, andOSWALD
tell my daughter I would speak with her.
Exit an Attendant
Go you, call hither my fool.
Exit an Attendant
Re-enter OSWALD
O, you sir, you, come you hither, sir: who am I,
sir?
My lady's father.KING LEAR
'My lady's father'! my lord's knave: yourOSWALD
whoreson dog! you slave! you cur!
I am none of these, my lord; I beseech your pardon.KING LEAR
Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal?OSWALD
Striking him
I'll not be struck, my lord.KENT
Nor tripped neither, you base football player.KING LEAR
Tripping up his heels
I thank thee, fellow; thou servest me, and I'llKENT
love thee.
Come, sir, arise, away! I'll teach you differences:KING LEAR
away, away! if you will measure your lubber's
length again, tarry: but away! go to; have you
wisdom? so.
Pushes OSWALD out
Now, my friendly knave, I thank thee: there'sFool
earnest of thy service.
Giving KENT money
Enter Fool
Let me hire him too: here's my coxcomb.KING LEAR
Offering KENT his cap
How now, my pretty knave! how dost thou?Fool
Sirrah, you were best take my coxcomb.KENT
Why, fool?Fool
Why, for taking one's part that's out of favour:KING LEAR
nay, an thou canst not smile as the wind sits,
thou'lt catch cold shortly: there, take my coxcomb:
why, this fellow has banished two on's daughters,
and did the third a blessing against his will; if
thou follow him, thou must needs wear my coxcomb.
How now, nuncle! Would I had two coxcombs and two daughters!
Why, my boy?Fool
If I gave them all my living, I'ld keep my coxcombsKING LEAR
myself. There's mine; beg another of thy daughters.
Take heed, sirrah; the whip.Fool
Truth's a dog must to kennel; he must be whippedKING LEAR
out, when Lady the brach may stand by the fire and stink.
A pestilent gall to me!Fool
Sirrah, I'll teach thee a speech.KING LEAR
Do.Fool
Mark it, nuncle:KENT
Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest;
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shalt have more
Than two tens to a score.
This is nothing, fool.Fool
Then 'tis like the breath of an unfee'd lawyer; youKING LEAR
gave me nothing for't. Can you make no use of
nothing, nuncle?
Why, no, boy; nothing can be made out of nothing.Fool
[To KENT] Prithee, tell him, so much the rent ofKING LEAR
his land comes to: he will not believe a fool.
A bitter fool!Fool
Dost thou know the difference, my boy, between aKING LEAR
bitter fool and a sweet fool?
No, lad; teach me.Fool
That lord that counsell'd theeKING LEAR
To give away thy land,
Come place him here by me,
Do thou for him stand:
The sweet and bitter fool
Will presently appear;
The one in motley here,
The other found out there.
Dost thou call me fool, boy?Fool
All thy other titles thou hast given away; thatKENT
thou wast born with.
This is not altogether fool, my lord.Fool
No, faith, lords and great men will not let me; ifKING LEAR
I had a monopoly out, they would have part on't:
and ladies too, they will not let me have all fool
to myself; they'll be snatching. Give me an egg,
nuncle, and I'll give thee two crowns.
What two crowns shall they be?Fool
Why, after I have cut the egg i' the middle, and eatKING LEAR
up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou
clovest thy crown i' the middle, and gavest away
both parts, thou borest thy ass on thy back o'er
the dirt: thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown,
when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak
like myself in this, let him be whipped that first
finds it so.
Singing
Fools had ne'er less wit in a year;
For wise men are grown foppish,
They know not how their wits to wear,
Their manners are so apish.
When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?Fool
I have used it, nuncle, ever since thou madest thyKING LEAR
daughters thy mothers: for when thou gavest them
the rod, and put'st down thine own breeches,
Singing
Then they for sudden joy did weep,
And I for sorrow sung,
That such a king should play bo-peep,
And go the fools among.
Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach
thy fool to lie: I would fain learn to lie.
An you lie, sirrah, we'll have you whipped.Fool
I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are:KING LEAR
they'll have me whipped for speaking true, thou'lt
have me whipped for lying; and sometimes I am
whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any
kind o' thing than a fool: and yet I would not be
thee, nuncle; thou hast pared thy wit o' both sides,
and left nothing i' the middle: here comes one o'
the parings.
Enter GONERIL
How now, daughter! what makes that frontlet on?Fool
Methinks you are too much of late i' the frown.
Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need toGONERIL
care for her frowning; now thou art an O without a
figure: I am better than thou art now; I am a fool,
thou art nothing.
To GONERIL
Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue; so your face
bids me, though you say nothing. Mum, mum,
He that keeps nor crust nor crum,
Weary of all, shall want some.
Pointing to KING LEAR
That's a shealed peascod.
Not only, sir, this your all-licensed fool,Fool
But other of your insolent retinue
Do hourly carp and quarrel; breaking forth
In rank and not-to-be endured riots. Sir,
I had thought, by making this well known unto you,
To have found a safe redress; but now grow fearful,
By what yourself too late have spoke and done.
That you protect this course, and put it on
By your allowance; which if you should, the fault
Would not 'scape censure, nor the redresses sleep,
Which, in the tender of a wholesome weal,
Might in their working do you that offence,
Which else were shame, that then necessity
Will call discreet proceeding.
For, you trow, nuncle,KING LEAR
The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long,
That it's had it head bit off by it young.
So, out went the candle, and we were left darkling.
Are you our daughter?GONERIL
Come, sir,Fool
I would you would make use of that good wisdom,
Whereof I know you are fraught; and put away
These dispositions, that of late transform you
From what you rightly are.
May not an ass know when the cartKING LEAR
draws the horse? Whoop, Jug! I love thee.
Doth any here know me? This is not Lear:Fool
Doth Lear walk thus? speak thus? Where are his eyes?
Either his notion weakens, his discernings
Are lethargied—Ha! waking? 'tis not so.
Who is it that can tell me who I am?
Lear's shadow.KING LEAR
I would learn that; for, by theFool
marks of sovereignty, knowledge, and reason,
I should be false persuaded I had daughters.
Which they will make an obedient father.KING LEAR
Your name, fair gentlewoman?GONERIL
This admiration, sir, is much o' the savourKING LEAR
Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you
To understand my purposes aright:
As you are old and reverend, you should be wise.
Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires;
Men so disorder'd, so debosh'd and bold,
That this our court, infected with their manners,
Shows like a riotous inn: epicurism and lust
Make it more like a tavern or a brothel
Than a graced palace. The shame itself doth speak
For instant remedy: be then desired
By her, that else will take the thing she begs,
A little to disquantity your train;
And the remainder, that shall still depend,
To be such men as may besort your age,
And know themselves and you.
Darkness and devils!GONERIL
Saddle my horses; call my train together:
Degenerate bastard! I'll not trouble thee.
Yet have I left a daughter.
You strike my people; and your disorder'd rabbleKING LEAR
Make servants of their betters.
Enter ALBANY
Woe, that too late repents,—ALBANY
To ALBANY
O, sir, are you come?
Is it your will? Speak, sir. Prepare my horses.
Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
More hideous when thou show'st thee in a child
Than the sea-monster!
Pray, sir, be patient.KING LEAR
[To GONERIL] Detested kite! thou liest.ALBANY
My train are men of choice and rarest parts,
That all particulars of duty know,
And in the most exact regard support
The worships of their name. O most small fault,
How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show!
That, like an engine, wrench'd my frame of nature
From the fix'd place; drew from heart all love,
And added to the gall. O Lear, Lear, Lear!
Beat at this gate, that let thy folly in,
Striking his head
And thy dear judgment out! Go, go, my people.
My lord, I am guiltless, as I am ignorantKING LEAR
Of what hath moved you.
It may be so, my lord.ALBANY
Hear, nature, hear; dear goddess, hear!
Suspend thy purpose, if thou didst intend
To make this creature fruitful!
Into her womb convey sterility!
Dry up in her the organs of increase;
And from her derogate body never spring
A babe to honour her! If she must teem,
Create her child of spleen; that it may live,
And be a thwart disnatured torment to her!
Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth;
With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks;
Turn all her mother's pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt; that she may feel
How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child! Away, away!
Exit
Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?GONERIL
Never afflict yourself to know the cause;KING LEAR
But let his disposition have that scope
That dotage gives it.
Re-enter KING LEAR
What, fifty of my followers at a clap!ALBANY
Within a fortnight!
What's the matter, sir?KING LEAR
I'll tell thee:GONERIL
To GONERIL
Life and death! I am ashamed
That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus;
That these hot tears, which break from me perforce,
Should make thee worth them. Blasts and fogs upon thee!
The untented woundings of a father's curse
Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,
Beweep this cause again, I'll pluck ye out,
And cast you, with the waters that you lose,
To temper clay. Yea, it is come to this?
Let is be so: yet have I left a daughter,
Who, I am sure, is kind and comfortable:
When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails
She'll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find
That I'll resume the shape which thou dost think
I have cast off for ever: thou shalt,
I warrant thee.
Exeunt KING LEAR, KENT, and Attendants
Do you mark that, my lord?ALBANY
I cannot be so partial, Goneril,GONERIL
To the great love I bear you,—
Pray you, content. What, Oswald, ho!Fool
To the Fool
You, sir, more knave than fool, after your master.
Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry and take the foolGONERIL
with thee.
A fox, when one has caught her,
And such a daughter,
Should sure to the slaughter,
If my cap would buy a halter:
So the fool follows after.
Exit
This man hath had good counsel:—a hundred knights!ALBANY
'Tis politic and safe to let him keep
At point a hundred knights: yes, that, on every dream,
Each buzz, each fancy, each complaint, dislike,
He may enguard his dotage with their powers,
And hold our lives in mercy. Oswald, I say!
Well, you may fear too far.GONERIL
Safer than trust too far:OSWALD
Let me still take away the harms I fear,
Not fear still to be taken: I know his heart.
What he hath utter'd I have writ my sister
If she sustain him and his hundred knights
When I have show'd the unfitness,—
Re-enter OSWALD
How now, Oswald!
What, have you writ that letter to my sister?
Yes, madam.GONERIL
Take you some company, and away to horse:ALBANY
Inform her full of my particular fear;
And thereto add such reasons of your own
As may compact it more. Get you gone;
And hasten your return.
Exit OSWALD
No, no, my lord,
This milky gentleness and course of yours
Though I condemn not, yet, under pardon,
You are much more attask'd for want of wisdom
Than praised for harmful mildness.
How far your eyes may pierce I can not tell:GONERIL
Striving to better, oft we mar what's well.
Nay, then—ALBANY
Well, well; the event.
Exeunt