Enter DIOMEDESDIOMEDES
What, are you up here, ho? speak.CALCHAS
[Within] Who calls?DIOMEDES
Calchas, I think. Where's your daughter?CALCHAS
[Within] She comes to you.ULYSSES
Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them, THERSITES
Stand where the torch may not discover us.TROILUS
Enter CRESSIDA
Cressid comes forth to him.DIOMEDES
How now, my charge!CRESSIDA
Now, my sweet guardian! Hark, a word with you.TROILUS
Whispers
Yea, so familiar!ULYSSES
She will sing any man at first sight.THERSITES
And any man may sing her, if he can take her cliff;DIOMEDES
she's noted.
Will you remember?CRESSIDA
Remember! yes.DIOMEDES
Nay, but do, then;TROILUS
And let your mind be coupled with your words.
What should she remember?ULYSSES
List.CRESSIDA
Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to folly.THERSITES
Roguery!DIOMEDES
Nay, then,—CRESSIDA
I'll tell you what,—DIOMEDES
Foh, foh! come, tell a pin: you are forsworn.CRESSIDA
In faith, I cannot: what would you have me do?THERSITES
A juggling trick,—to be secretly open.DIOMEDES
What did you swear you would bestow on me?CRESSIDA
I prithee, do not hold me to mine oath;DIOMEDES
Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.
Good night.TROILUS
Hold, patience!ULYSSES
How now, Trojan!CRESSIDA
Diomed,—DIOMEDES
No, no, good night: I'll be your fool no more.TROILUS
Thy better must.CRESSIDA
Hark, one word in your ear.TROILUS
O plague and madness!ULYSSES
You are moved, prince; let us depart, I pray you,TROILUS
Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself
To wrathful terms: this place is dangerous;
The time right deadly; I beseech you, go.
Behold, I pray you!ULYSSES
Nay, good my lord, go off:TROILUS
You flow to great distraction; come, my lord.
I pray thee, stay.ULYSSES
You have not patience; come.TROILUS
I pray you, stay; by hell and all hell's tormentsDIOMEDES
I will not speak a word!
And so, good night.CRESSIDA
Nay, but you part in anger.TROILUS
Doth that grieve thee?ULYSSES
O wither'd truth!
Why, how now, lord!TROILUS
By Jove,CRESSIDA
I will be patient.
Guardian!—why, Greek!DIOMEDES
Foh, foh! adieu; you palter.CRESSIDA
In faith, I do not: come hither once again.ULYSSES
You shake, my lord, at something: will you go?TROILUS
You will break out.
She strokes his cheek!ULYSSES
Come, come.TROILUS
Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a word:THERSITES
There is between my will and all offences
A guard of patience: stay a little while.
How the devil Luxury, with his fat rump andDIOMEDES
potato-finger, tickles these together! Fry, lechery, fry!
But will you, then?CRESSIDA
In faith, I will, la; never trust me else.DIOMEDES
Give me some token for the surety of it.CRESSIDA
I'll fetch you one.ULYSSES
Exit
You have sworn patience.TROILUS
Fear me not, sweet lord;THERSITES
I will not be myself, nor have cognition
Of what I feel: I am all patience.
Re-enter CRESSIDA
Now the pledge; now, now, now!CRESSIDA
Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.TROILUS
O beauty! where is thy faith?ULYSSES
My lord,—TROILUS
I will be patient; outwardly I will.CRESSIDA
You look upon that sleeve; behold it well.DIOMEDES
He loved me—O false wench!—Give't me again.
Whose was't?CRESSIDA
It is no matter, now I have't again.THERSITES
I will not meet with you to-morrow night:
I prithee, Diomed, visit me no more.
Now she sharpens: well said, whetstone!DIOMEDES
I shall have it.CRESSIDA
What, this?DIOMEDES
Ay, that.CRESSIDA
O, all you gods! O pretty, pretty pledge!DIOMEDES
Thy master now lies thinking in his bed
Of thee and me, and sighs, and takes my glove,
And gives memorial dainty kisses to it,
As I kiss thee. Nay, do not snatch it from me;
He that takes that doth take my heart withal.
I had your heart before, this follows it.TROILUS
I did swear patience.CRESSIDA
You shall not have it, Diomed; faith, you shall not;DIOMEDES
I'll give you something else.
I will have this: whose was it?CRESSIDA
It is no matter.DIOMEDES
Come, tell me whose it was.CRESSIDA
'Twas one's that loved me better than you will.DIOMEDES
But, now you have it, take it.
Whose was it?CRESSIDA
By all Diana's waiting-women yond,DIOMEDES
And by herself, I will not tell you whose.
To-morrow will I wear it on my helm,TROILUS
And grieve his spirit that dares not challenge it.
Wert thou the devil, and worest it on thy horn,CRESSIDA
It should be challenged.
Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past: and yet it is not;DIOMEDES
I will not keep my word.
Why, then, farewell;CRESSIDA
Thou never shalt mock Diomed again.
You shall not go: one cannot speak a word,DIOMEDES
But it straight starts you.
I do not like this fooling.THERSITES
Nor I, by Pluto: but that that likes not you pleases me best.DIOMEDES
What, shall I come? the hour?CRESSIDA
Ay, come:—O Jove!—do come:—I shall be plagued.DIOMEDES
Farewell till then.CRESSIDA
Good night: I prithee, come.THERSITES
Exit DIOMEDES
Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee
But with my heart the other eye doth see.
Ah, poor our sex! this fault in us I find,
The error of our eye directs our mind:
What error leads must err; O, then conclude
Minds sway'd by eyes are full of turpitude.
Exit
A proof of strength she could not publish more,ULYSSES
Unless she said ' My mind is now turn'd whore.'
All's done, my lord.TROILUS
It is.ULYSSES
Why stay we, then?TROILUS
To make a recordation to my soulULYSSES
Of every syllable that here was spoke.
But if I tell how these two did co-act,
Shall I not lie in publishing a truth?
Sith yet there is a credence in my heart,
An esperance so obstinately strong,
That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears,
As if those organs had deceptious functions,
Created only to calumniate.
Was Cressid here?
I cannot conjure, Trojan.TROILUS
She was not, sure.ULYSSES
Most sure she was.TROILUS
Why, my negation hath no taste of madness.ULYSSES
Nor mine, my lord: Cressid was here but now.TROILUS
Let it not be believed for womanhood!ULYSSES
Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage
To stubborn critics, apt, without a theme,
For depravation, to square the general sex
By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid.
What hath she done, prince, that can soil our mothers?TROILUS
Nothing at all, unless that this were she.THERSITES
Will he swagger himself out on's own eyes?TROILUS
This she? no, this is Diomed's Cressida:ULYSSES
If beauty have a soul, this is not she;
If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimonies,
If sanctimony be the gods' delight,
If there be rule in unity itself,
This is not she. O madness of discourse,
That cause sets up with and against itself!
Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt
Without perdition, and loss assume all reason
Without revolt: this is, and is not, Cressid.
Within my soul there doth conduce a fight
Of this strange nature that a thing inseparate
Divides more wider than the sky and earth,
And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Admits no orifex for a point as subtle
As Ariachne's broken woof to enter.
Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven:
Instance, O instance! strong as heaven itself;
The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolved, and loosed;
And with another knot, five-finger-tied,
The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
The fragments, scraps, the bits and greasy relics
Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.
May worthy Troilus be half attach'dTROILUS
With that which here his passion doth express?
Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged wellTHERSITES
In characters as red as Mars his heart
Inflamed with Venus: never did young man fancy
With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.
Hark, Greek: as much as I do Cressid love,
So much by weight hate I her Diomed:
That sleeve is mine that he'll bear on his helm;
Were it a casque composed by Vulcan's skill,
My sword should bite it: not the dreadful spout
Which shipmen do the hurricano call,
Constringed in mass by the almighty sun,
Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear
In his descent than shall my prompted sword
Falling on Diomed.
He'll tickle it for his concupy.TROILUS
O Cressid! O false Cressid! false, false, false!ULYSSES
Let all untruths stand by thy stained name,
And they'll seem glorious.
O, contain yourselfAENEAS
Your passion draws ears hither.
Enter AENEAS
I have been seeking you this hour, my lord:TROILUS
Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy;
Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home.
Have with you, prince. My courteous lord, adieu.ULYSSES
Farewell, revolted fair! and, Diomed,
Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head!
I'll bring you to the gates.TROILUS
Accept distracted thanks.THERSITES
Exeunt TROILUS, AENEAS, and ULYSSES
Would I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would
croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode.
Patroclus will give me any thing for the
intelligence of this whore: the parrot will not
do more for an almond than he for a commodious drab.
Lechery, lechery; still, wars and lechery; nothing
else holds fashion: a burning devil take them!
Exit