Antony and Cleopatra

by William Shakespeare

Act II, Scene V

Alexandria. Cleopatra's palace.

Enter CLEOPATRA, CHARMIAN, IRAS, and ALEXAS

Give me some music; music, moody food
Of us that trade in love.

The music, ho!

Enter MARDIAN

Let it alone; let's to billiards: come, Charmian.

My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.

As well a woman with an eunuch play'd
As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?

As well as I can, madam.

And when good will is show'd, though't come
too short,
The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now:
Give me mine angle; we'll to the river: there,
My music playing far off, I will betray
Tawny-finn'd fishes; my bended hook shall pierce
Their slimy jaws; and, as I draw them up,
I'll think them every one an Antony,
And say 'Ah, ha! you're caught.'

'Twas merry when
You wager'd on your angling; when your diver
Did hang a salt-fish on his hook, which he
With fervency drew up.

That time,—O times!—
I laugh'd him out of patience; and that night
I laugh'd him into patience; and next morn,
Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed;
Then put my tires and mantles on him, whilst
I wore his sword Philippan.

Enter a Messenger

O, from Italy
Ram thou thy fruitful tidings in mine ears,
That long time have been barren.

Madam, madam,—

Antonius dead!—If thou say so, villain,
Thou kill'st thy mistress: but well and free,
If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here
My bluest veins to kiss; a hand that kings
Have lipp'd, and trembled kissing.

First, madam, he is well.

Why, there's more gold.
But, sirrah, mark, we use
To say the dead are well: bring it to that,
The gold I give thee will I melt and pour
Down thy ill-uttering throat.

Good madam, hear me.

Well, go to, I will;
But there's no goodness in thy face: if Antony
Be free and healthful,—so tart a favour
To trumpet such good tidings! If not well,
Thou shouldst come like a Fury crown'd with snakes,
Not like a formal man.

Will't please you hear me?

I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st:
Yet if thou say Antony lives, is well,
Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him,
I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail
Rich pearls upon thee.

Madam, he's well.

Well said.

And friends with Caesar.

Thou'rt an honest man.

Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.

Make thee a fortune from me.

But yet, madam,—

I do not like 'But yet,' it does allay
The good precedence; fie upon 'But yet'!
'But yet' is as a gaoler to bring forth
Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend,
Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,
The good and bad together: he's friends with Caesar:
In state of health thou say'st; and thou say'st free.

Free, madam! no; I made no such report:
He's bound unto Octavia.

For what good turn?

For the best turn i' the bed.

I am pale, Charmian.

Madam, he's married to Octavia.

The most infectious pestilence upon thee!

Strikes him down

Good madam, patience.

What say you? Hence,

Strikes him again

Horrible villain! or I'll spurn thine eyes
Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head:

She hales him up and down

Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd in brine,
Smarting in lingering pickle.

Gracious madam,
I that do bring the news made not the match.

Say 'tis not so, a province I will give thee,
And make thy fortunes proud: the blow thou hadst
Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage;
And I will boot thee with what gift beside
Thy modesty can beg.

He's married, madam.

Rogue, thou hast lived too long.

Draws a knife

Nay, then I'll run.
What mean you, madam? I have made no fault.

Exit

Good madam, keep yourself within yourself:
The man is innocent.

Some innocents 'scape not the thunderbolt.
Melt Egypt into Nile! and kindly creatures
Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again:
Though I am mad, I will not bite him: call.

He is afeard to come.

I will not hurt him.

Exit CHARMIAN

These hands do lack nobility, that they strike
A meaner than myself; since I myself
Have given myself the cause.

Re-enter CHARMIAN and Messenger

Come hither, sir.
Though it be honest, it is never good
To bring bad news: give to a gracious message.
An host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell
Themselves when they be felt.

I have done my duty.

Is he married?
I cannot hate thee worser than I do,
If thou again say 'Yes.'

He's married, madam.

The gods confound thee! dost thou hold there still?

Should I lie, madam?

O, I would thou didst,
So half my Egypt were submerged and made
A cistern for scaled snakes! Go, get thee hence:
Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me
Thou wouldst appear most ugly. He is married?

I crave your highness' pardon.

He is married?

Take no offence that I would not offend you:
To punish me for what you make me do.
Seems much unequal: he's married to Octavia.

O, that his fault should make a knave of thee,
That art not what thou'rt sure of! Get thee hence:
The merchandise which thou hast brought from Rome
Are all too dear for me: lie they upon thy hand,
And be undone by 'em!

Exit Messenger

Good your highness, patience.

In praising Antony, I have dispraised Caesar.

Many times, madam.

I am paid for't now.
Lead me from hence:
I faint: O Iras, Charmian! 'tis no matter.
Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him
Report the feature of Octavia, her years,
Her inclination, let him not leave out
The colour of her hair: bring me word quickly.

Exit ALEXAS

Let him for ever go:—let him not—Charmian,
Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon,
The other way's a Mars. Bid you Alexas

To MARDIAN

Bring me word how tall she is. Pity me, Charmian,
But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber.

Exeunt

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